I'm digesting my change of mindset

Hello my dear readers!
A very ... special ... week has just ended and I don't know yet, where my mind is at the moment. Most of it is fitness/weight loss related - but there are a few other personal things that changed too.

The scale wasn't very kind to me today - seems that I've gained weight again - aliments with wheat really seem to make me bloated even though I stay within my calorie goal ... gluten sensitive? I don't know - there are so many sceptic people about it - but I'll stick to my opinion, that the paleo diet is the best for me so I won't worry too much about.

So, this was my first "discovery" of the week: it ALSO matters WHAT I eat, not only, how many calories it has - sigh. Second: I'm still thinking about how to integrate more exercise into my day but on the other hand I feel exhausted also. I hope I will build more and more endurance - I do quite a workout everyday in the stables but I really would love to do more!!!!!!!!!

Then my sister's finally got her driving license! She's so proud because driving was one of her greatest hobbies and now she's finally allowed to do it with any normal vehicle on normal roads. It really will be a big help for all of us.

On the other hand it reminded me of the time when I made my license - how much difficulty I had to put everything into practical. I really feel comfortable learning theoretical stuff but never really found my place in anything physical - often because I was so heavy. It's not that I need to be better than others but I would really love to enjoy moving again - not feeling to have to push myself but that everything flows ... just because of the fun of it ...

... omg, I'm nearly crying now - I didn't expect this - but it is true: I struggle to move this heavy body everyday and the best it gets is still so much less than any "normal" person - it's so much easier for them ...

...

Let's look at it in a more lighthearted way:

So, while I'm gulping down my water I still need to drink for today I have to say, that I'm happy overall - I just need to digest everything. So much is coming to the surface of my mind at the moment that I'm sometimes just sitting around and thinking.

But I know this will pass and that my comittment to this blog, my fitness and diet will help me.

I've prepared a better shopping list so I will make sure to have enough protein and veggies around for next week and I want to incorporate some squats, planks, push ups and inverted rows into my daily work, as well as added some clear goals to my habitica.

Please excuse me for this random ramble today and I hope you check in again!

Yours,
Elanor