"Your Mindset is your Superpower in your Weight Loss Journey" - this is what I discovered in the last weeks with my 2017 respawn in my fitness journey.
As I plan out my life more and more, I get to a whole new level of control in my life that I never expected. I'm still working on the Nerd Fitness Academy goal and mental health is a huge topic there and everything starts in building the right mindset and daily habits for an "antifragile" lifestyle, as Steve Kamb, the founder of Nerdfitness.com calls it.
For my mental health I'll work at a small meditation challenge for the next 2 weeks.
Thank you so much for watching!
Yours, Elanor
Please excuse my English - I do my best, because I feel at the right place in the English speaking community but I'm no native speaker.
My favourite fitness channels at the moment:
DaveDoesWeightloss https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9gMoTx2EFYRnzWwYADEhRA
ObesetoBeast https://www.youtube.com/user/ObesetoBeast
Nerdfitness https://www.youtube.com/user/NerdFitness
LiveLeanTV https://www.youtube.com/user/bradgouthrofitness
ModernHealthMonk https://www.youtube.com/user/ModernHealthMonk
GaugeGirlTraining: https://www.youtube.com/user/gaugegirl82
Fitness Marshall: https://www.youtube.com/user/TheFitnessMarshall
My social media:
YouTube; https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUL0Eq7QLwnGwYlUVW_gBog
Blog: http://elanorthefairsjourney.blogspot.fr/
Instagram; @elanorsjourney
Art channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCb9po5XOs5n-wYPm0oVurDQ
OMG - I'm freaking out - why am I shaking just because it's weigh-in day?
I feel shattered although the results are not so bad - within 6 weeks I've gained so much endurance and I have made only little changes to my diet to not starve myself - yes, I've gained 1,5 kgs (no wonder) - I've lost 2 centimeters around my hip and gained some in my tighs - is this good? Seems that's where the new muscle power is coming from.
Phew - I really need to write this down and make my video because I'm really anxious about all of this, seeing my weight go up and my mind is shrieking: "Oh my god, this is so terrible, I don't want this, I want my fat to go away, leave me alone!!!"
I mean, I would be the last person on this planet to complain if I had 20-30kgs to loose, but being so terribly obese while I love sports and being outside so much really really hurts me! I have tears running down my face now.
It seems I don't take this weight loss thing serious enough!
But I just want to find a way without starving myself, with having the same energy as I have at the moment.
Why is this weigh-in/measuring day freaking me out so much? Can anyone relate?
Please send me any support you have to keep me going, trusting, and not jumping off the wagon. I had 6 weeks and it feels like I've screwed them, although I was so confident - how can the stupid numbers not reflect that?
I feel so alone ... next week I will go to Germany and I will be anxious all the time again if anyone remarks me not having lost anything. I'm so tired of it. It's not the only reason this is depressing but it's just that I can't change anything anymore ...
Screw it!
What am I going to do next - what are my conclusions about everything?
*taking a deep breath*
1. I WILL STAY ON TRACK!
I will keep exercising - everyday.
I will continue mealplanning.
2. I WILL START TO SCEDULE
I will scedule workouts, mealplans AND ALSO the weigh-in/measuring - this will help me to be more serious about everything I think and to plan out more smartly.
3. I WILL WORK PRIORITIZING
It seems that I sometimes don't take nutrition for serious and plan everything how I REALLY WANT IT. This is true to other things in my life too.
Was there anything else this week?
My dog, that I had for over 14 years, died, I had visit from relatives I haven't seen in a very long time, I had some arguements with my husband, we still had car problems and no money in the bank this week again. At least the thing with the money has been cleared. The cars are running again but there's still some things to get checked.
Considering all of this I really could be happy that my progress hasn't stalled even more, normally I would have fallen off the wagon far sooner.
AND I RODE MY BIKE TO WORK LAST WEEK! HUGE LEVEL UP!!!!
So, overall I'm still happy - it's just the measuring day that got me freaked out - but thanks to this blog I have somewhere I can reflect on this and not push it down without looking at it.
Thank you for all the support I already have received - you're so great!!!!!
You keep me accountable - 7th video already in 2017!!!!
<3
Next week I will be in Germany for work and I don't know if I'll be able to write or film, but I will post something anyways - maybe make some nice footage there.
this week really was full of challenges; our car broke down, my husband got sick and I had to do all the farm work alone, the money didn't arrive the date it was planned and everyone in my family was really busy with their own work. I was left with all my farmwork alone ...
BUT!
... that way I was active everyday and more or less got all my goals in and this really surprised me because I was really struggling.
Even mealplanning finally starts to get easier and we had got 2 meals left over so we were able to go 1 more day without shopping. As I'm writing this, 2,5 kgs of chicken is baking in the oven for tomorrows family meeting. Yes, I'm especially proud of how I'm doing when life tests me.
This week I will leave out the question of the week, as I just want this update to be "out there". ;)
Having a daily workout routine really seems to be working out for me - this is what I feel woud be my answer for last weeks question.
UPDATE:
My energy levels are rising because of the workouts and the biking every morning - it's the best thing that happened to me in a long time! Weather will be good the next days and maybe I'll even hop on my mountainbike and go for a ride outside!
The mealplanning experiences are mixed - I still struggle with planning everything ahead and doing the shopping at the right moment. But I feel that when it's challenging this means that I'll expand my knowledge - next week I will report how it turned out.
AND: there was a huge level up in my life: I bought myself a laptop again so I'll be able to work from everywhere. Especially because I tend to eat when I'm bored and sitting around. Now I have my own workspace with me and can do something else.
It also helps me decrease stress and pressure around my worktime as I'm not longer tied to my desktop PC at home for my freelancing work but I can take most of the things to other places - outside even!
MY QUESTION OF THE WEEK: On your fitness journey, what changes did you make to your environment be it workspace, gym or household? Were there specific items you purchased that helped you stay on track on the long run?
As always, I would be delighted to read any answers or inspiration on this topic.
Now for last weeks question, where I was asking, how to deal with the expectations of others and the fear of letting them down.
I'm so happy I adressed this question as I was able to reflect on everything and was pointed into the direction. Was it a coincidence that this week I saw a new video of both ModernHealthMonk and ObesetoBeast talking about this topic?
John Glaude from ObesetoBeast mentioned in his video, that his family and friends saw a "beacon of hope" in him, as he was losing weight and that he would stress out about not letting them down too, ordering salad in the Restaurant when he was with them, to show them, that he was eating healthy, even if he would be binging alone at home afterwards. Wow, that was so well described and really struck me but also made me understand, that I'm not alone with my thoughts and that others have been through this and have made it and so he'S some kind of "Beacon of Hope" also for me.
And then there was the nice reply of lynneta in the Nerdfitness forums that I will cite here:
Thank you so much for this! I will see if I can get that book!
This made me realize that all of this comes down to one thing: SELF CONFIDENCE and this is something I have to work on on my own. If I don't trust myself and if I permit myself to let myself down, I will of course be afraid of being judged.
and it really makes the point I think. How should others look up to you or me when we don't even have faith in ourselves and in what we are doing? If we aren't strong enough to stand up for our beliefs and are not proud to talk to someone else about it?
We should look forward to those bullys and want our journey to be challenging and not too much straight forward!
But to walk ahead, we have to train and know where on the path we are standing. Working out, even though it's more cardio I'm doing at the moment, helps me a lot to gain self assurance.
Let's see how this adventure unfolds!
Thank you so much for reading!
Yours,
Elanor
Please excuse my English - I do my best, because I feel at the right place in the English speaking community but I'm no native speaker.
I promised an update of my 2 weeks challenge in the Nerdfitness Academy Respawn 2017 and here it comes:
It went really well and I could stick to most of the habits even during my stay at my family's in Germany - it's small steps to get used to drink water again and also the other points I could check off - only 1 workout remains.
I directly went into new goals for this week wich will be to continue mealplanning for 3-4 days ahead. I still struggle with it a little and I don't get the portions well balanced but I'm working on it. I rewarded myself getting a BRITA Waterfilter which is really cool and I love drinking water even more as I prefer water without all the "extras" in form of chlorine, metals etc.
Additionally, I decided to adress 1 question a week here on my blog and also on my YouTube-Channel. There's always so much on my mind and I have no one except my online community I can talk to. At the end of the week I will resume what I've found out.
This week my question is to understand better how to deal with the expectations from others around you regarding weight loss.
Was it a mistake to speak openly about what I'm doing with others? Now, I have several people on my back always watching out when they meet me to see whether or not I've gained or lost weight. This is really stressful and I start feeling afraid of deceiving them. Of course this is also some kind of motivation for me but it also starts to be of a pressure.
I already did damage my metabolism and also my menstrual cycle in the past just by pushing to hard and starving myself. Now is time for doing things slowly but steadily and accepting myself, getting the proper mindset and starting again. But I have no way explaining all of this to everyone - of course, in my close family, everything is ok - I'm really glad about that. But my boss at work for example, really expects me to lose weight ...
Do you have any ideas or experiences about this issue? I'm glad for anything!
Thank you for reading or watching!
My next goals are to hop on my hometrainer bike every morning for 2 weeks and continue mealplanning.
I'll check in with you soon!
Regards,
Elanor
Please excuse my English - I do my best, because I feel at the right place in the English speaking community but I'm no native speaker.
Because of the 10th anniversary of the day my shop opened (I no longer have the shop, but I posted some images here!) I looked through some old images and for the first time in a long period I really "binge-watched" through all of them from 2006 to 2011 and I started to see myself in a completely new light.
There were some small films also and what struck me deeply was: ALL of the time I was eating or sitting - this really gave me the creeps. At first I felt deep disgust and I understand why I didn't like to look at pictures or in the mirror in my late tens and early twens. There was nothing to be proud of - I was sitting there ... eating ... even in the best moments. Today I see that you can tell that I really didn't care about myself at all.
And then I was overwhelmed by the sadness - the sadness I always felt but never was able to recognize. I watched my siblings and friends play sports games: Soccer, Dodgeball but also just normal children's games because we were a big family (I'm the oldest of five) and always had friends around, and where was I? Sitting, declining the invitation to join the game, making photographs and telling myself that I don't fit in there.
And it is/was true: I was never able to play soccer as other kids - not only because I was heavy but also because I'm really bad at ballsports ;-) But it seemed that the feeling of not being able to have fun like the others started to expand and wasn't getting better over time obviously. I couldn't walk on our frozen lake in the winter or at least I didn't dare to - I stood outside and filmed ... I couldn't climb the trees like the others in an adventure park, so I stood outside and filmed ... immersed in my footage but excluded from adventure ... but still not wanting to change or even acknowledging that there was something that could be changed.
Learning photography by sitting and watching
You know, I don't think my only problem is/was my body - there's also a feeling, that I didn't WANT to fit in - I felt protected in my role as an outsider because I despised all the sparring we had as youths; jokes, pranks and games, games, games.
Yes, as I realized later, I'm a nerd - I lived my more contemplative side and there must be some positive things about myself too, because I had a lot of caring and positive people around me that stuck to me in every situation.
But back to the sadness - the first change started, when I realized, that I had brought it to the point, where my biggest dream: having my own horse and riding it, was starting to vanish. I had and have this stupid situation again: everyone around me is so healthy and fit, they can ride the horses but me, that really wishes to, can't. It's the one thing I cared about and when I first came to this realization, I cried a whole night long and many more followed.
My first horse Denicheur and the realization that I've become too heavy ...
But it wasn't supposed to be my way - my path was to first see the horse and accept it wasn't all about riding on it - and with my first horse, I started the first changes and it's amazing where I came too after 8 years now - I'm still heavy and maybe, riding won't be my foremost occupation, but I feel so much better!
Then I also discovered NerdFitness and overall with my decision of getting healthy, my life changed dramatically - I'm no longer refusing to participate (ok, ball games might still be my least loved) but I started to get over my shyness and fear - my horses are a great help.
Today, after looking at those memories I'm telling myself no longer wanting to be arrogant so much and to find out what I want to do instead of sadly watching others having all the fun.
Thank you for reading - I really appreciate - it's not easy to write so openly, but I know I feel so much better afterwards.
Yours, Elanor
Summer 2016 - small steps with a stronger horse ... I still may be too heavy, but my perspective changed - better make small steps, then no steps at all!
Yes, it's me! I took a break from writing while the preparations in my family for the pastry chef exams where around and I had to try and judge pastry nearly every day :P
But this break really changed everything - I suddenly was so relaxed I didn't even feel hungry anymore!!! Of course I'm sure to have gained the weight back, but I feel so much better and my body shows me with many subtle signs, that letting go of the stress while at the same time having cleared my emotions, was a very good thing.
A lot of my internet fitness buddy Apocalypse's diet suggestions stick around however - I'm having muesli every morning and force myself to have breakfast and just feel so amazing! I also try to stick to it with the meals - a big healing has happened inside of me and I can't thank him enough!!!
Overall I'm living a much healthier lifestyle than last year - snacking is no longer uncontrolled and I even start to get a grip on those portion controls. Weight wise, I doesn't seem to change, but screw the scale for the moment - I learn so much about myself - that's so much more important and I hope to be able to share some of those things in the next entries with you too. :-)
I was away a lot for work too. In Switzerland I was the co-trainer on a horse workshop. You can see me here, at minute 1:32 - I was working with this amazing stallion called Kelian - look at me close to this bundle of muscles and power!
And what now?
I've got a hometrainer bike!!!!
As it's been raining for over a week and there's flooded roads everywhere, I sat on that very old bike inside and yesterday I reached a round number, so I decided I'll challenge myself to do 100 km during the month of June!
It's a VERY old machine - very interesting - everything works mechanically, no digital display. It must be around 40-50 years old! The kilometers count shows already over 3000 km! Wow! This is what it looks like (photo isn't mine).
I sat on it the last 2 months rather casually, not really looking at the kilometers - but as the pastry exam is over I was looking for a new challenge - so here we go ;-)
You'll read me again on Wednesday - enjoy the rest of this Sunday and let's hope that it will sotp raining once in a while!
It took me some time to sit down and write this post - challenge #9 with the mealplan has really been instructive and I somehow know more about where I want to go now.
But it seems to need some preparation. As I wrote before - I feel like standing at a crossroad - knowing I will go, but not feeling a pressure to be in a hurry, but planning wisely the next move.
Putting myself through random challenges over and over again has made me stronger, but to make this real change, I will need a strategy to stick to for a longer period of time. There must be the one moment I can cure my food addiction and I figured out, there will be a period of rehab time.
So, to conclude this challenge, I went off track for the last week of this challenge because as I was forced to have some slips, it was getting more and more difficult to get back on track and I felt that this wasn't going to do me good.
I only shop for lean protein, potatoes, rice and muesli still but as my father and sisters are preparing for their pastry chef exams, there's temptation everywhere and they need a gusto from time to time. I cannot willpower through this (and do I even want?) without being well prepared.
It seems that I will have to refine several things yet and pay attention to those little things: tking into account that I will no longer be able to stuff my face with food when I'm feeling weak, depressed or stressed - that my body will feel to want to get more food in and I will not be as "strong" as I'm now, that my husband will have to know exactly what I'm doing etc.
For travel, I will have to be prepared too: I will have to know exactly what I need, so I can say to my friends what I eat and what I don't whithout offending them. And I will have to be clear with all of this and don't let myself get distracted by the opinions of others and new fancy internet diets.
Do you think it's okay if I wait for all of this for four weeks until the pastry exams have passed?
Well, I do think it's okay.
But I will do another challenge anyway - a last one, that isn't 100% focused on my fitness goals, but more on preparing next challenge and building up mindfulness while eating and a clear daily structure that will help me afterwards.
Of course, I'm not looking into the weeks for binging but I will continue buying healthy foods and eat them! I just won't be very restrictive.
So, that's my word for today - last challenge really was great and hey! I finally got that hometrainer - it's a very old one stil relying on mechanics for measuring distance - some friend of mine surprised me with it - his grandpa wanted to throw it away - that's how the rewards come in. I'll post a picture soon!
So, this is me writing a thoughtful post today. First of all: I didn't lose any weight during last week, tough my body feels about 10 kgs lighter! I wasn't my best week concerning food - I felt terrible about it - sometimes I had so much work I forgot to eat, finding myself really starving, around other people stuffing themselves with chocolates and some special food, so I'm proud to say that I managed to stay "clean of candy" during the week, but sometimes I had to eat something that definetely wasn't on my plan because I had no other options and I already had waited for a better occasion for some hours.
I'm really glad about all the help I get in the Nerd-Fitness-Community and for every instruction, advice, experience or just good feelings shared. I don't know where I would be without you.
It's also great to be able to experience with the actual meal plan, how food addiction works and how my body is able to heal itself as long as I stick to it. But I'm also really surprised of how much a mental and psychological "battle" this is.
I won't go through all the detailed thoughts I went through during last week, but something seems to be sticking aroung. I have the feeling, that my struggle with food and health starts to reveal more and more other issues in my life - how my lifestyle affects me and who I am as a body and what I can do and what I can't.
Today I'm at a point where it feels that I need to make some overall level UP - within a year I managed to stop snacking and many more things I never thought possible. I hacked myself to a point, where I optimized my daily routine so I can get everything done. But now it seems, that if I really want to do this, I will have to commit to ... hm, how to say ... myself basically and to say "yes" to who I am and to my body and leave some things surrounding me at the same time.
As I have to leave the house now, it seems that it's not for today to write more in detail about it, but I wanted to let you know about all of this. It's an exciting adventure - thank you for being there with me!
I don't know why the last days I was so stressed - there was also going on a lot emotionally and everytime I sat down to write my next blogentry something blocked - as though I hadn't figured out something.
Before this week is over, I wanted to give everyone a sign, that I'm still alive. But I'm also not sure whether my inner block comes from a new wave of depression rising up - again, I'm confronted with some things I couldn't talk to anyone for a few days - now I forced myself to do it so I feel better.
Of course I've done a lot of other stuff but I also struggled with my diet because I really craved other foods and it was hard, being forced to sit and wait while my whole family stuffed themselves with chocolates and pastry and I start to crack after one hour - having to leave the room and feeling bad the rest of the day.
Any suggestions for this? It's especially difficult if we're sitting together and having to plan things throughout the week or having fun activities like board games, movie nights and - that's where I'll head now - photo slideshows of travel.
So, for those of you who want to see what I'm eating exactly throughout the week, here ya go:
I permit myself 1 rest day per week - this isn't supposed to be a cheat day but this time I ate some chocolate for example and we made dinner together as a family, having "Käs'spätzle" and a roasted pork. Typical german food.
So, today I woke up at 5:30 a.m. because me and my husband will leave for a trip to Germany to see our family, I did my workout and recorded a short video message which I just edited and added the 3rd song of this challenge that I recorded.
It's always amazing how the habits I choose to build turn out. This challenge's goals were to record and upload one song every week, to get some experience. You know, I don't want to be perfect in my recordings, I just want to DO them. There has to be a start somewhere and we all know we will suck the first times but it's "getting better all the time" ;-)
Once you make the first step, there's only improvement - even if you try to tell yourself that you're awful at what youre doing, you can't deny that there still is some improvement anyway.
The same is true for my recordings and you know what? I got motivated to record not only myself but also convinced my sisters to let me record them playing the piano and make a CD for our grandma with just 6 songs. I could easily add one of the songs I had recorded and wow - never thought that could be possible!!!
pixabay.com
The only thing I can tell you if you have a dream is to make one first step in any little way towards it - one where you can overcome your fear. If it's just to record you playing the drum on your cell phone and only listening to it yourself, that's fine. Next time you might share it with a close friend.
What really is important is that you choose a goal for yourself so you get to do it. Otherwise you'll push it away for later and never do it. Take 4 weeks, set some really easy goals and let yourself get inspired!!!
Make sure to check in here again during the week to see pictures from our trip to Bavaria!!!
I hate those kind of titles on the internet - everyone seems to be affected by depression nowadays - and now I find myself writing the exact thing because I really have to explain why there hasn't been any update on Wednesday.
I never thought about depression until it struck me last year around the day it was one year my mother had died and that I had some issues in my work. I knew some people that had had depression themselves but I also had met people that liked that depression made them feel special or that were just not suitable for society so they had to be "kept alive" with drugs and even others, that wanted to make others feel guilty.
When is the point that you diagnose a depression? It seems, that other than at the moment you receive it by a doctor, mostly people have to make this diagnose themselves because they no longer understand what's going on - or a friend/family member telling you.
It reminds me of starting to loose weight: because you can't really talk about it, it's all about that one moment when you decide for yourself to start changing - even if you don't know how to start.
Some time ago I wrote an article on this blog about myself starting to face my stuff more than stuff my face and I started to speak my mind and let go of being perfect to get everything out - especially if it's just small, unimportant things, I tend to swallow them but sometimes later the inner chocolate monster arises and wants me to compensate this social stress. And if I can't talk about it with the person implied I will talk about it with a friend or write a blogpost about it.
To be fair, I announced this to my family members so they don't get shocked and for myself this is really good and I feel much lighter.
2 days later my sister walked up to me and said she wanted to do that too. She was struggling a long time already to find words and she spent some of her teen years more recluded than her personality usually was. In the last year we barely were able to speak with her because she felt blocked.
But what I had said seemed to touch her and within 3 days she let go and talked about all her fears and pressure she's making herself and her depressed feelings. It was a big opening and sometimes not easy to digest if you see someone so close to you talking about a lot of depressing things.
So, all my energy was focused around that - she had the real depression, one that you're unable to express, just a mindset that pulls you into a more and more dark environment. But it helped so much, that I had read about people having depression and that so many are open to talk about it - so please keep spamming the internet about depression!!!! I now fully understand!
I'm also glad that I can understand my sister today after my breakdown last year, because how to imagine the inability to speak? I mean, it's just opening your mouth to someone you trust! So, you have to have experienced it to understand it!
So, today I recorded my next song and I think I will upload the video tomorrow, I did my workout and yesterday we went shopping for a healthy weekend diet wise. I also finally was able to start working on the next book project with my boss which is quite exciting and FINALLY the weather starts to shift and the sun is showing up!
Let the sun shine in!!!
and to celebrate all of this, here comes my favorite song from the movie "Hair" (somewhat depression also, but very very powerful!!!!):
Okay, it's Monday instead of Sunday and the new video isn't edited yet too (I hope you'll like it!) - I returned late yesterday because I spent some nice time watching the movie "we bought a zoo". But it's not the only reason I didn't write.
How can I avoid stress with other people? How can I learn to let go if it seems that someone just doesn't get what I want to say and I carry my emotions about that around for several days? What if I truly feel that I'm not recognized for what I am and that someone just wants to "be the good guy" and perfect in every way but isn't ready to just do what is to be done?
I really appreaciate people helping me in my daily chores but I don't like to be the "poor amd weak" person in need. If I feel that someone treats me this way I start getting irritated - I'd rather do everything on my own and be proud of what I've done afterwards then spending time with someone that belittles me.
But what gets me to LOATHE someone is, if he/she refuses to listen or to open his/her ears that reality maybe isn't the way they think and to be open to communicate. Ok then, stay in your cloud that turn just around yourself but don't freak out when I don't want to be in your company until you're back to normal.
OMG, that is some kind of rant but I'm trying today to get this thoughts out of my head in this blogpost so I will no longer have to carry them around -
Such social struggles really stress me out and I watch myself reaching over to the pizza and bread and just pushing them in my mouth to distract me. It's the feeling of being helpless because I love the person but there is no way to reach him/her and it ends in an argument in wich I usually win but where the other has to yield.
But winning is not what I want - I just want a tiny little bit of understanding.
I want to be with people that are strong, that don't belittle me but that take up challenges together with me. People that love life and are not overly perfect but instead love imperfections.
So, now, this rant is out and maybe some of you can relate. Today I realize that these moments are, what lead me to emotional eating and I learn to cope with it. I'm more and more relaxed and try to build my eating habits in a way that such a mini-binge won't destroy all my hard work.
Thank you for reading - can anyone out there realte to me?
There's been much I wanted to write about today but there's something I want to reflect on more specifically - this is why I'm writing this blog: to get my thoughts out of my head - like the pensieve in the Harry Potter series.
Pensieve
Yesterday I met my father and my full sister again. I hadn't met her in about 6 months or so. I was a little anxious about the meeting, but it went good and wont be the main focus of today's article.
I really felt for so many years I was the least fit person in my family. Yes, I had my horses but I thought "fit" meant to be thin - wich isn't true it seems. Some time ago I wrote an entry here where I said I thought that moving everyday for approximately 2,5 hours wasn't very much to me.
But meeting my other family made me realize how I had changed. Aside from the people doing physical work, most designers or other office employees rarely spend even half the time each day with physical activity! My father gets up to take a walk from time to time and I considered him to be fit. In my environment I know only one person overall that does any kind of regular training.
It seems I've confused being fit to being thin. My weight may be one issue but over the years I've become one of the fittest persons in my family: endurant, strong and flexible. I can work 3-4 hours with no problem - I can lift nearly as good as my husband - I can walk 10 km over hills - I can do any physical work - I might not be as efficient with tools however ;-)
This stuns me because it's not always been this way - it's been some kind of struggle. It started already about 5-6 years ago, when I quit my little boutique in the neighboring town to live more in nature and get to move more instead sitting in the shop all day.
Since then I evolved slowly but never dared to dream that one day I would feel more comfortable in moving than my father would, doing all farm work on my own AND carrying around my bodyweight. Yeah, I already surprised myself of thinking about going for a hike in the alps with my grandfather - something I always dreaded because I would be the one panting and sweating the most.
I think this would be a kind of holiday I'd like to do with my husband in the next months or so.
THIS FEELING IS AMAZING!!!!
I want to stop today and honor this moment - there's still such a long road to go, but I realized, it's not been the fact of myself doing training - it's been the decision I made in 2010-2011 that was the change - everything else followed naturally - at it's own pace.
So, maybe I'll be able to write to you soon about my trips to the alps - I feel really touched and I want to say thank you to myself, the universe and everything!
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