Learning to move again - Connecting to childhood

As a teenager I rode around with my bike throughout the countries we visited: in France I explored the hill around our house, in Germany we went on tours with my grandparents, in Italy I rode through the dry sun to cool myself, in Greece I played to be a horse rider and scout and I searched the environment for horses and in India I commited to the flow of traffic - rode for miles and miles and felt independent.

This week I got on my bike I had bought 2 years ago for fitness. I rode it a few times, but without really having fun. I'm 28 years old today and I have changed - physically mostly. I started disliking my bike last year, because I was used to drive city-bikes and this one is a mountain bike.

Riding through green fields on thursday

When I get up, I ride it as in the time when I was 13 years old - where the bike was my symbol of independence. But somehow it's different: my body behaves inexpectedly - I'm afraid of high speed, and I totally feel like a beginner.

This frustrated me. I wanted to do a 20 min ride to work up to an hour of biking through 1-2 weeks. After 3 mins my injured leg started to hurt - I put more power on the other, stretched it to get at least 5 mins. Then I got down, walked, stretched my muscles, got up for a few 100 meters again - thus making it a trip of 15 mins overall. As I was smart, I picked a tour that would be easier on the way home.

The feeling to ride was great - it really is my favorite way of exercising. But it feels frustrating to be at such a low level. I mean, those are not even baby steps - it's like having to learn everything all over again - as when I learned to bike as a little child: managing to drive my bike downhill into a bush so I wouldn't have to rely only on my skills to use the breaks. LOL

My hips and tighs have been hurting for two days because of those 15 minutes!!!!!! I mean, come on! At first I was worried if I had injurey myself - but no, yesterday, all pain was gone. It really only was soreness. Sigh. I still did two more rides, deciding I would go as long as it doesn't hurt and then immediatly go back.

Drawing I made for my NerdFitness character

What can I say? It resulted in a trip around my village and nothing more - less than 1km. I did it again today and made the trip some 500 meters more. But I started training my manoevering skills, driving closely around obstacles and over bumbs and unsteady ground - so it would be fun anyways.

It's hard to accept all of this, but you know why I keep doing it? Because the feeling in my body is so great afterwards!!! And the more I ride, the more I reconnect to the feeling of my childhood which I already believed forgotten! This makes my heart so joyful and I let go and listen to my body.

Yes, maybe I have to relearn how to move in this much heavier body first, before expecting more, but I love my body anyways - and in my heart, the independent warrior girl that traveled to find the horses is still the same! Maybe, she'll find the way to level up and fulfill her dream to ride horses again - in the past, she always found the way there in riding her bike first ...

... a little tear is rolling off my cheek as I write this ...

Thank you for reading!